Happy Birthday Christine!

Wow, I have really been neglecting this blog. Unfortunately there hasn't been really anything I want to blog about for the past week or so. I'm sick of bitching/whining/complaining, its just so much more fun posting on my Little Twin Stars blog ... a place where I can hide and forget try to forget everything.

Anyway ..... on Sat, I met up with Christine, TY, Adela, KL and Huiyi. It was Christine's bday on Sun so we just went out to have a good meal We had "mala" steamboat @ Tanglin Shopping center.

Did not take much pics. They basically came and dumped everything inside to cook. Think they are just trying to rush everyone thru their meal.

I ate way too much and even when I was so full that my tummy hurt ... but I still managed to finish my dessert :)

Adela is so cute. She only grumbled during dinner because she wanted her diaper changed.

KL was supposed to leave right after dinner but he cancelled plans without informing us, so Christine and TY already made plans after dinner on their own. It was just the 3 of us again ... KL, Huiyi and I that made our way to Starbucks for some coffee. It was more chit chat b4 we called it a nite and we made our way home ... all b4 12 midnight :)

Cursed/Doomed/Prisoned by my uncontrollable emotions!!

I don't know what to do ... I just know I can't take it anymore. I don't have the emotional toughness to do it. I don't have the experience to do it. I don't have the drive. I hate crying and have the whole world see my weakness and know how the fucking emotional I am. It is not as simple as ignoring it and that's it. If it was really that simple, u will never see me shed a tear.

I just know I am sad and I want this pain to end, the tears to stop. I don't care anymore ....... pls make it stop.

Tough week .....

Have not been able to leave work on time on Thur and Fri. Because of the time difference between Singapore and Monaco (where OE main office is) I end up getting calls after I get out of work.

On Thur, as I was waiting for the bus for the longest time, I got a call and it was an enquiry. Crap, I had to quickly grab a pen, juggle all the crap I was holding and trying to decipher what Italian was saying with is accent. Throughout the whole 1hr ride home, I was constantly on the phone trying to close a deal only to find after that we did not make a cent! I was so freaking pissed but I guess sometime it is more impt to close the deal.

Thank god after I fixed it with the supplier and was whining (hey, it was almost 10pm, I was still working, i deserve to whine a little) to her, she took pity on me and said she would give me 50cents/ton. OMG, u have never known how VALUABLE 50cents is!

On Fri, it was an early morning day for me. I had set up a 9am appointment and had to leave the hse pretty early as I did not want to be late meeting Nick again. However, this time around, he was the late one. Guess he is not a morning person either :P I ended up waiting for him at his hotel lobby for more than 15mins b4 he appeared with a half eaten apple still in his hands. There wasn't enough time to take the MRT so we took a cab but the cab got us there with more than enough time to spare and we ended up waiting for the suppliers because they were late. Great .... I could have slept for 1/2 hrs! I also felt really bad making Nick wake up so early in the morning and wasting his time.

The next appointment was at 11am and we had some time to spare, we went to have coffee and donuts while Nick told me the story of how his mom started the biz. Sigh ... I can't help but admire all that his mom has done but that did not make me want to strive for what she has, instead it made me more depressed. I realize that I do not have a single ambitious bone in my body, I have no drive, no goal, no determination ..... no anything.

He started to talk about the plans he had in store for OE Spore and I just sat there listening, thinking to myself, where do I fit into all of this? I don't think I can or even want what he is planning for .....

What is wrong with me? How can someone not grasp the great opportunity presented in front of them? Not appreciated the rare chance that has appeared? What the hell do I want to do? How do I get the drive, the fighting spirit, the yearning, the will ......

I seem to be on self destruct mode and I can't find the "ABORT" button :(