You are your past .... sigh, how true that is when it come to me. Don't u hate when your past seems to haunt u? That everything u are doing now is because of what happened b4? Some might say just let it go, but when it comes to mistakes, shouldn't u remember them so as not to make them again? However, where do u draw the line on remembering enough and letting go?
I can't help but compare things, I know it isn't fair but how else do I prevent myself from being hurt? I do not want to be crying my eyes out a few mths down the road as I was stupid enough to trust and open up. I have doubts that I wonder whether are they there because of what I've experience or is it my actual intuition. Most ppl say trust your intuition but at this point, I don't think I can. My intuition is clouded by my past, it might be sending me wrong signals.
I guess I can only take things one day at a time. Enjoy what is there ... some might say I am using the person .... yes, even I will admit that I am, a little. But, what the fuck, I have been used so many times, maybe it's time for me to be the user.
And, if you really mean the things u've said, shouldn't u be willing to stick around a while so that I can sort out my thoughts and feelings? Is that too much to ask? A person has to be selfish sometimes ....
Saturday, May 19, 2007
